It’s a fact that we are all born to win. We learn to lose, and what we learn, we can un-learn.
A baby enters the world as a completely open conduit of love, acceptance, trust, and joy. A normal child does not have any self-defeating thoughts or habits. It never enters the child’s mind that its every desire cannot be met, until the world tells him or her differently. Alas, we learn to lose. We learn to lower our expectations and to sabotage ourselves, and then come to believe that we deserve less or none at all. A baby has no desire for a cigarette, self-deprecation, or numbing out. The good news is that whatever negative habits or beliefs we learned, we can un-learn, and return to that natural infantile state of bliss. There is a plethora of modalities for un-learning and healing.
As I, Dr. Frederick R. Best had to grow up, I was faced with many different challenges.
Being born black, poor, and disabled, there were many obstacles that I found myself facing on a day-to-day basis.
Maybe my greatest victory in life was that which was given to me, the mindset that my mother instilled in me. She taught and trained me over the years to never let anyone treat me as though I was handicapped. My mother always encouraged me to never let anyone put a label on me. She taught me that being handicap was a state of the mind, and not a state of being. When I was young I thought to myself about the human male body. It produces thousands of sperm cells daily. It only takes one cell to reach the egg. I was that one cell that reached the egg. If you are here today, then you reached that egg. That means you was born 2 win. I want to encourage every parent that may have a child born physically challenged, please do not raise them as a handicapped child. And to every child that is born physically challenged, please do everything you can do to overcome all your obstacles and challenges in life.
Over the years there have been many powerful statements that my mother Sylvia Best spoke to me that have impacted my life. For example, I can still hear her telling me a “quitter never wins, and a winner never quits”. Also she would say, “those who say that they can, and those who say that they cannot, are both right.”
She would tell me, people will stare at you because they are not familiar with you, but when they get used to you, they will stop staring.
Also she would say, never worry about how people see you, just focus on how you see yourself.
And whatever I put my mind to do, I can do it.
She would tell me sometimes all I need to do is visualize myself doing it inside my mind, then I could do it on the outside.
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor’s cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit -
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.